We spend about 85 percent of each day communicating, so it’s in our best interests to be good at it. Yet, we seldom concentrate on how our partner/ associates, friends and neighbors want to be communicated with.
If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so easy to talk to some people; why you have an instant rapport with some and not others the answer might be you’re not communicating with people on their wavelength. According to Tony Alessandra, PhD, CSP, CPAE and author of The Platinum Rule
, we too often treat people according to the Golden Rule: “do unto others the way you’d have them do unto you”. A solid maxim, yet one that often backfires. We are not all the same, nor do we want the same things. Thus, Tony’s Platinum Rule, “do unto others as they would like to be done unto,” reframes communication.
Tony’s communication advice can help one solve conflict, build more effective teams and foster stronger relationships. Tony, challenges us to better understand each one, describes their differences and asks that we flex to that individual style to be more effective in our communication with others.
According to research we can differentiate various styles of communicating into four quadrants:
The Director, Socializer, Relator and Thinker:
- Directors tend to be more forceful and up front and want people to get to the bottom line. They like being in charge.
- Socializers want to be center stage. They excel at conversation- sometimes too much so.
- Relators are about relationships, slow to warm up and loyal. They like a relaxed pace.
- Thinkers are analytical, precise and like data- neatly presented.
We are a combination of all of these styles , yet we have a primary preference, and if we are going to be more effective in getting results, the Platinum Rule counsels us to communicate to that person’s preference. Easier said than done- as a Director myself- as is the host of McCuistion; a style that is often impatient and much too direct!
Join us to learn more about communication skills, how we are similar and different, and how we can use the Platinum Rule to build relationships, personally and professionally.
This is one program you won’t want to miss if you do indeed want to foster stronger relationships.
As always we are talking about things that matter with people who care.
Niki Nicastro McCuistion, CSP
Executive Producer/ Producer
Speaker, Consultant in Strategy, Leadership and Governance
2013 – 5.26.13